Chapter 8

"Of course, I'm here to kill you."

Qi Xing clasped his hands together, bowing slowly before his chest, and said very politely,

"You immoral piece of trash, instead of staying put in the cesspit, you come out to harm the world. Today, I'll reluctantly chop you up and sink you into the sea to feed the fish."

This person was skilled in fighting, ruthless in his actions, and sharp-tongued. For a moment, Professor Fanstella didn't even know how to respond. And the more he looked at the coffin Qi Xing brought, the more frightened he became.

Because Qi Xing rode a coffin into the deep layers of his Inner Realm; because Qi Xing was endowed and the most virile under heaven, while he was now impotent; because it was said that Master Leipu was an immortal who had severed his three corpses and achieved eternal life, yet he couldn't 'resurrect' no matter how hard he tried. In other words—

"Who do you think is more suitable to be Osiris now?"

He—he was here to cuckold him!

010: Eerie Thunder Method as Strong as a Monster, Unable to Defeat Even with All Efforts

Although Professor Fanstella had become impotent and his Dao Heart had collapsed two months ago, leading him to take desperate risks, he had secretly abused those evil powers and indulged his wicked desires for several years.

So, of course, he had heard of a legend circulating in the underground world for the past few years.

It was said that if you abused your power, colluded with evil cults, and harmed and plundered innocent people to satisfy your dark desires, Master Leipu would come for you.

Originally, this wasn't a big deal. It was common for people in the dark world. There were always exorcists, Witch Hunters, anti-demon ninja, Magical Girls, and other self-proclaimed righteous individuals coming to cause them trouble.

But this time was different, this time was truly different!

Because everyone said that Master Leipu was more cunning than anti-demon ninja, more cruel than Witch Hunters, more powerful than Magical Girls, and a man who accepted no compromises.

People who suddenly gain great power are usually quite arrogant, and might think, "Hmph. It's just an urban legend; Master Leipu might not be that strong." After all, the ranks in this world are earned through examinations and judged by people, and even masters occasionally get careless and stumble against minor characters—hence, evil cultivators often tend to look down on righteous heroes.

But Professor Fanstella was in a state of impotence, his Dao Heart on the verge of collapse. To expect him to be arrogant, underestimate his enemy, and then get slapped by Qi Xing… was really forcing a strong man to do a man's job.

Now he even saw the famous Master Leipu rush in on a coffin, radiating killing intent, and open his mouth to ask him, "Who do you think is more suitable to be Osiris now?" Oh my god! That almost made the professor cry from fright!

Because for men in myths and legends, there have always been only two most terrifying things in this world: first, being castrated; second, being cuckolded. And if you think about it carefully, you'll realize that these two fears are essentially the same thing, and they still linger in men's hearts even in the modern world.

This kind of fear is enough to drive a person mad.

But the professor was not a powerful warrior; even before he became impotent, he wasn't skilled in combat. He was a hypnotist. To defeat Master Leipu, he had only one path to take.

Hypnotize Qi Xing? That was definitely impossible. The professor knew with just one glance at Qi Xing that the gap in their masculine power was as vast as the Maggen River is to a toothpick. How could he possibly hypnotize Qi Xing?

"My Jackals, my hounds, my loyal guardians of the tomb, appear quickly!"

So, with extreme despair and almost frantic courage, the professor stood on the great serpent's head, spread his arms, and chanted loudly,

"I am the Bull who rules the Underworld! I shall live forever like Ra! You Ushabti, quickly do my bidding! Strike down my enemies, destroy them! I shall not be hindered by Apep! My death is for rebirth and resurrection, like Ra, forever and ever!"

He chanted, waving his scepter, and a cold aura immediately swept across the Inner Realm's land, a dark breath like ice caressing the skin.

No sooner said than done, a group of monsters appeared at the professor's summons.

The most obvious was a creature with black fur all over its body, a man's torso, but a dog's head on its neck—to be precise, it was a Jackal's head. But this image was so famous that even those unfamiliar with ancient Egyptian mythology had seen it a few times.

Speaking of Egypt, the most famous are mummies, and Anubis is precisely the god responsible for mummy making and funerals, the guardian god of tombs and the dead, and also the son born from Osiris's adultery with his brother's wife. He is also the god who weighs the hearts of the dead during judgment in the afterlife, determining the severity of sins. He holds the scales of justice for sinful souls, and his indifferent golden eyes, aimed at his prey, stared at Qi Xing.

Long before the rise of human civilization, death often accompanied humanity. Regardless of era or culture, there have always been gods who preside over death. Gods with such authority often continuously receive widespread worship and possess considerable power, not to be trifled with. Behind him followed a large group of new monsters, three hundred and sixty-five stone figures, adorned with gold and jewels. Like terracotta warriors, each was lifelike, and each had a slightly different appearance. However, each stone figure also held a khopesh and a spear, silent, awaiting battle.

They were Ushabti figures, essentially similar in nature to the Terracotta Warriors, serving as burial objects to continue being servants to the tomb owner in the afterlife. Ancient Egyptian royal tombs would contain at least 365 Ushabti figures. This way, at least one figure would be on duty every day… one can only say that the imagination of ancient people was sometimes quite charming, and people's ideas are actually not too different everywhere.

The professor, riding his great serpent, retreated rapidly, creating distance, while simultaneously ordering these monsters to encircle and attack Qi Xing and his companions. He himself hid in the back, but it was unclear what he intended to do.

In any case, Qi Xing certainly didn't intend to let him hide and continue casting long spells.

"Elaine, Artemina—Anubis and the remaining stone figures are yours to handle. Just hold them off."

"Are you really making us fight a god? Even if it's just a false god constructed by imagination in the Inner Realm?" Despite this, Artemina didn't complain. Instead, she trembled her dog ears with a mix of nervousness and anticipation, gazing at Anubis. She was, after all, a canid.

Elaine, however, frowned: "'Remaining' stone figures?"

Qi Xing had stopped wasting words.

Boom!

He exhaled true qi, and with a rush, his physical body actually tore a long trail of air! Driven by electromagnetic force, his speed had reached an incredible realm. Hundreds of steps, yet he covered the distance in a single stride, directly charging in front of the professor and stepping onto the great serpent's head, giving the gods and monsters under his command no chance to even block him!

In an instant, the professor felt as if all the surrounding air was forcefully squeezed out by that punch. A gigantic fist continuously expanded in his eyes—it was going to smash his head with one punch!

As for the hundreds of stone figures that Qi Xing had 'conveniently passed by,' they were crushed as if run over by a high-speed dump truck. The encirclement of more than three hundred stone warrior figures was instantly shattered, simply invincible!

The power of Master Leipu's single punch was truly this fierce?

At the brink of death, the professor was finally forced to unleash his extraordinary abilities as a psychic. His eyes shot out brilliant light, and his intent—

—But Qi Xing's Thunder Fist was faster than thought, faster than narration.

Boom!!

With no room to dodge, the incredibly fast Thunder Fist slammed heavily into the professor's head! Any summoning, any telekinesis, any Inner Realm void creation, all were interrupted before he could even raise a hand! Interrupted! Interrupted!!

With just one punch, he had shattered the skull of this hypnotist uncle!

011: Osiris's Sky Chicken

With just one punch, Qi Xing had shattered Professor Fanstella's skull and blasted him off the great serpent's head.

And Qi Xing didn't stop after just one punch.

"Five Thunders Demon-Slaying Blade."

Seeing the professor blasted into the air, Qi Xing murmured softly, clenching his five fingers in the void. A fist-sized ball of electric light brewed in his hand, spinning, then suddenly blasted out, transforming into five blade-like streaks of light that swept a thousand steps, striking from a distance!

Powerful currents surged forth, heating the surrounding air until it expanded, then exploded into thunder, inescapable! The professor, in mid-air, was struck by the thunder blades all over his body, not only wailing in agony but even emitting a scorched smell!

For his third move, Qi Xing stomped the ground, leaping into the air, and instantly arrived before the professor. His palm transformed into a blade, completely sealing off any escape routes, and there would be no more knocking him away—he was going to use his palm-blade to completely cleave this hypnotist uncle in two!

However, there was one thing that would not allow the professor to be killed like this.

Just as Qi Xing's palm-blade was about to mince the professor, at that critical moment, the red and black writhing giant serpent actually leaped up from the ground, using its body, larger than a train, to forcefully block Qi Xing!

Qi Xing's palm strike, as expected, only produced the sound of metal clashing, like a bell.

What a great serpent, impenetrable to blades and immune to fire and water!

Hundreds of Ushabti stone figures had just been trampled by Qi Xing in one step, shattering into pieces. But another one or two hundred stone figures still retained their combat power and finally reacted. They grabbed javelins and bows, aimed at Qi Xing in mid-air, and attacked simultaneously, immediately intending to shoot Qi Xing full of holes like a hedgehog.

Don't underestimate these bronze-tipped javelins fired by mere elite grunts. In the Inner Realm, generated from mythological archetypes, their power is absolutely no less than a rifle, perhaps even stronger!

But Qi Xing merely glanced back at them, not even deliberately striking. The javelins and arrow rain stopped naturally about three feet around Qi Xing's body. It was as if an invisible force field surrounded him, blocking everything.

Looking closer, there was indeed a dense, shimmering golden electric net, crackling and flashing, already present around Qi Xing. Everyone present could feel this powerful current, making their bodies tingle, and their skin, hair, and every follicle stand on end.

The arrow-spears drawn from ancient mythological archetypes struck this electric net and actually melted like candles, falling back to the ground. The high temperature of the melting metal caused smoke to rise from the ground.

This, in fact, was merely the 'Golden Light Body Protection Divine Incantation,' known to any proper cultivator. It is a fundamental technique in Daoist Thunder Methods, externalizing inner cultivation to the body's surface, forming protective Yang energy that can ward off ghosts and evil spirits.

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Due to its versatile nature, many different Taoist sects utilize this technique. However, their cultivation methods vary, each with its own version. Some sects use it to weave golden light into talismans, others channel it internally to refine it into a pill, while some attain enlightenment and gain the protection of Thunder Gods. In truth, no sect's Golden Light Mantra is the "genuine" version.

You ask about the original version? It seems the sect that developed it vanished during the Yuan Dynasty.

Qi Xing is an unconventional, self-taught cultivator. He combined his unique electromagnetic force-emitting true qi with the Yang energy of the Golden Light Mantra, refining it into a three-foot wall of true qi—a self-reacting, damage-dealing aura that melts gold and iron—which he calls: "Thunder-Fire Heavenly Garment."

Most of the evil practitioners in this world enjoy playing with insidious tricks, especially poisoning, curses, traps, and sneak attacks. Without even this most basic automatic defense, how could Master Leipu slay demons and eliminate evil in this harsh, dark world?

During his time off, Qi Xing even lowers the power output of his "Thunder-Fire Heavenly Garment" so he can walk among mosquitoes and electrocute them.

"Oh no! Oh no!" Professor Vanstra's skull had been cracked by a single punch, his entire body scorched by electricity. Having barely escaped the final blow, he was knocked out of the sky and slammed back to the ground, his mind filled with despair.

"I only heard that Master Leipu had immense magic power. I thought that with my divine artifact, I could at least outmatch him. I never expected it to be like this…"

Feeling the electric current in the air making his skin crawl, the professor was truly terrified.

Qi Xing hunts down evil experts, refining them into batteries of yin and Yang energy. Many evil practitioners mistakenly believe Master Leipu's strength comes solely from a massive reserve of true qi. They try to challenge him with their own energy-rich divine artifacts, only to realize after being beaten that they were wrong—the key is actually Qi Xing's precise control over the generation of thunder from yin and Yang energy.

The thunder of heaven and earth embodies the cycle of life and death; it is the gathering of yin and yang energies, brewing within chaos. When these sharp contradictions suddenly collide, they unleash a seismic power that shakes the heavens and earth with endless explosions.

Among all Taoist arts, the Thunder Method possesses the greatest destructive power.

Almost all the experts in this world possess highly metaphysical spells and supernatural abilities that defy common sense. This is especially true for those on the heterodox paths.

Yet, Qi Xing, that unconventional, self-taught cultivator, rarely relies on overly metaphysical methods. Take talismans, for instance; while he knows a few, he rarely uses them in combat, reserving them only for functional purposes.

Too many righteous heroes rely solely on spells and supernatural abilities, only to have them turned against them by insidious enemies, leading to their capture and humiliation. This is unacceptable to Qi Xing. As a hero, one must be able to handle all surprise attacks, betrayals, cunning schemes, and ambushes at any time of day.

In this dark world, battles are decided long before one reaches a battlefield. If you only have one or two strong metaphysical spells or supernatural abilities, your life will end quickly. No matter how high your skill multipliers are, if your base stats are too low, you'll never land a hit or even manage to cast your skills.

Only by tempering one's combat techniques and personal strength, refining immense true qi, and striking the enemy's vitals with greater speed and power, can one truly be invincible. It is simple, effective, and reliable!

After traversing worlds and ten years of combat training, the techniques Qi Xing developed and honed became his own theoretical system: the "Thunder Combat Arts"!

Using the "Thunder-Fire Heavenly Garment" to block the stone warriors' projectiles, Qi Xing didn't spare a glance for the minions. He immediately prepared to strike the professor again, determined to finish him off!

However, that inexplicably swollen, black-and-red giant snake, moving with a speed unimaginable for its massive size, pursued Qi Xing like the wind, preventing him from finishing off the professor. It acted exactly like a loyal war beast protecting its master.

While that description seems fine on the surface, the giant snake was actually a manifestation of the professor's inner phallus. The sight of a giant phallus valiantly standing tall to loyally protect its master made the entire scene utterly absurd.

What was even more absurd was that this hard, thick, and heavy phallus, whipping its head and tail, was actually fighting more fiercely and effectively than the professor himself!

Boom! This time, it was the phallus's turn to aim its head at Qi Xing. Its reptilian head spat out thick bolts of lightning and thunderous projectiles, raining down on Qi Xing with a crackling roar.

"Seriously? Why can this thing shoot lightning and thunder?" Qi Xing muttered while forming hand seals—Taoism, of course, has its own mantra hand seals. While the Nine-Character Seals are common in works about Onmyoji and ninjas, they were originally recorded by Ge Hong of the Eastern Jin Dynasty. Qi Xing clasped his hands together, extending and joining his middle fingers to form the "Dou" seal.

The "Dou" seal represents courage and resolve—the ability to face difficulties with surging fighting spirit and withstand any tribulation. As the giant snake bombarded him with thunder and lightning, Qi Xing countered with the "Dou" seal. Each bolt of lightning and ball of electricity was shattered, reduced back into yin and Yang energy, which Qi Xing then snatched out of the air and refined instantly.

As he refined the energy, the mythological knowledge Samael had given him surged in his mind, bringing him a new realization—why shouldn't a phallus be able to emit thunder and lightning? Of course it can!

Osiris is the god of vegetation. The cycle of his life and death symbolizes the flourishing and withering of nature. Doesn't the story of his phallus falling into the Nile and causing the spring floods carry the very meaning of "Abundance"? This conflation of the masculine phallus with spring and fertility is a recurring element in ancient myths throughout human history.

Furthermore, lightning is also associated with abundance, as thunder brings the spring rains. For all agrarian societies across the world, spring thunder is the harbinger of life-giving rain, a symbol of agriculture and nourishment.

Moreover, the ancient Egyptians placed great importance on the masculine power of "Kingship." The reason Osiris could no longer rule as Pharaoh on earth after his phallus was bitten off by a crocodile—even after his resurrection—was that he was no longer "man" enough, and thus could only rule the underworld.

The same holds true in other cultures. The Greek Titan King Uranus lost his power as King of the Gods after his son Cronus castrated him; Cronus, in turn, lost his power after his son Zeus did the same to him. Zeus then ascended to become the King of Mount Olympus, and as everyone knows, he possessed the strongest phallus in Greece.

The mythological manifestations in the "Inner Realm" are merely projections of the master's subconscious. A phallus is a rod, and a rod is a king's scepter—a symbol of kingship, the root of power in Professor Vanstra's heart, and the ultimate strength of a man!!!

So this giant phallus is no ordinary member—it is thunder, it is spring rain, it is the power of kings, it is the value of a man's existence; it is the great dragon beneath Osiris!

Although the mystical knowledge Samael gave Qi Xing allows him to understand these mythological symbols and subconscious projections, he can only analyze them rationally. This actually makes it even harder for him to empathize with the professor on an emotional level.

Why would someone narcissistically worship their own phallus in their subconscious? Is this some kind of mid-life crisis? Or could it be that Professor Vanstra had some childhood trauma regarding his phallus?

It's too bizarre. Qi Xing can't fathom it. Oh well, whatever. He never intended to understand a pervert anyway.

Qi Xing glanced at his teammates and saw Elaine and the Magical Girl locked in a fierce battle with Anubis.

Anubis was the son born of the adulterous affair between Osiris and his sister-in-law. Professor Vanstra surely doesn't have any real illegitimate children. Therefore, this Anubis must represent some sort of "achievement" the professor feels he has won with his phallus (and perhaps hypnosis).

Such dark, twisted self-confidence becomes especially powerful in the "Inner Realm." It's a credit to Elaine and the others that they've managed to fight this Anubis to a standstill. Qi Xing really should give them a gold star when they get back.

"Fine. Since it is the root of his power, cutting it off should end this battle."

It's time. I can't let the young girls continue to take risks.

"Thunder is Yang, lightning is Yin; with my true qi, I unite the creation of the Taiji."

As he chanted the incantation, Qi Xing clapped his hands together. Yin and Yang collided, and a brilliant bolt of lightning erupted from his palms, rolling with crackling thunder as it transformed into a towering blade of lightning!

"Piercing heaven and earth, severing all evil, dispelling all spirits—obey this command immediately!"

This was the ultimate move of his "Thunder Combat Arts." It was one of the few techniques Qi Xing possessed that required a casting time, consumed a significant amount of energy, and had a long wind-up, meaning he had to choose the perfect moment to unleash it.

In an instant, an aura of utter disdain for the world—an aura that would not tolerate the existence of any evil—surged from him.

At that moment, Elaine and the Magical Girl, who were locked in fierce combat, and the professor, who was paralyzed on the ground, all felt their hair stand on end. They could all sense that Master Leipu was like a blade of peerless sharpness, standing straight between heaven and earth.

If there was anything in this vast world he despised, anything he loathed—he would pierce a hole through the entire world to destroy it!

The phallus of Osiris coiled its body, raising its curved head like a real snake, as if trying to intimidate Qi Xing. This, obviously, was completely useless.

Professor Vanstra alone watched this scene, seeing his own phallus stand before him to face the ultimate enemy. Only then did he finally realize, and he screamed in a panic: "Aaaaah?!"

Could it be—could it be that his phallus was trying to protect him?!

Could his phallus believe that if it were severed by Master Leipu, he could continue to survive in this world?!

"No, no, no!" Even with his bones cracked and broken, the professor immediately struggled up from the ground. He scrambled desperately toward the phallus, then sank to his knees and bowed before Qi Xing, howling!