Funeral Love’s Four Horsemen

As soon as Li Congxin finished speaking, space energy immediately surged across the grounds of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, and a purple energy dome suddenly rose into the air. Right after that, the dome split open from the center, and five figures appeared before everyone.

The leader had deep blue skin with the metallic sheen unique to metal. He wore an ancient-looking metal battle armor, and judging by his appearance, he looked more like a Kree than a human from Earth.

I remembered the lyrics to a song: "Blue-faced Apocalypse kills like a punk, red-faced Schmidt suffers like a clown, yellow-faced Shang-Chi, white-faced Captain America, black-faced Nick Fury shouting and bawling…"

Maxim Gorky once said that only the names were wrong—the lyrics were never wrong.

The lyrics of this song perfectly reflected certain traits of characters in the Marvel Universe. Apocalypse, for example, was a textbook example of a punk, and one who had taken it to the bone. Not only had he made his own appearance ridiculously chuunibyou, but even the four new Four Horsemen of Apocalypse behind him had been packaged in an equally over-the-top fashion.

In Li Congxin’s eyes, they might as well be called the Four Horsemen of Funeral Love instead of the Four Horsemen of Apocalypse.

Every last one of them was absurdly chuunibyou! They were so over-the-top that they could endorse a mobile game with no VIP equipment, where everything depended on drops, without needing makeup at all.

Imagine that scene: "Hello, everyone! I’m Crazy Girl, and I’m the King of Random Words…"

The moment that image appeared in his mind, Li Congxin forcibly cut it off.

It was so damn painful to look at!

The five members of the Funeral Love family had barely appeared when Apocalypse naturally ignored Li Congxin and Li Qianhuan, this father-daughter pair of Multiversal Level and Singular Universe Level gods. His gaze went straight to Charles, who had yet to recover from his severe injuries. "Charles Francis Xavier, come with me. I can enhance your abilities and make you my Fifth Horseman, helping me purify this filthy world."

Seeing Apocalypse’s lofty, cult-leader-like manner, Li Qianhuan could not help curling her lip. She asked Li Congxin beside her, "Is that blue-skinned guy mentally ill?"

Li Congxin shrugged. "Even you can tell, so he must be seriously ill."

Using Mutant abilities to rule the world was the sort of bizarre train of thought only an old fossil like Apocalypse could come up with. Even Magneto, who was famous for being chuunibyou, would not see things that way.

After all, Mutant abilities, powerful as they were, were not omnipotent. This was not primitive society. Having the bigger fist was certainly an important standard for possessing a voice, but it was absolutely not the only one—not even the most important one.

Leaving aside whether you could achieve such a crazy goal, even if you truly did, how would you manage things?

Would every member of society’s upper class be a Mutant?

Then how should rights and interests be distributed among Mutants? According to contribution, seniority, or strength?

Going by Apocalypse’s ideas, they would certainly be distributed according to strength. But Mutants’ strengths were often innate. Wouldn’t that mean that everyone’s social status was decided from the moment they were born?

If so, who would still be willing to work hard or strive forward?

If my treatment will never change whether I spend every day lazing around or working my ass off, then why the hell should I put in any effort?

And this contradiction would not merely appear among the poor. The closer one got to the core, the more intense it would become. If everyone’s status was determined by strength, shouldn’t the ruler himself follow that same rule?

You think mastering an unknown number of Mutant abilities makes you powerful?

How about the Phoenix Force and Chaos Force?

Therefore, Apocalypse’s governing philosophy was fundamentally riddled with fatal flaws, and hoping to succeed with it was nothing but a fool’s dream.

Never mind anyone else. Among the Four Horsemen of Funeral Love behind him, was there anyone who truly submitted to him?

No one!

Li Congxin could say with absolute certainty that if they had to choose between himself and Apocalypse to die, all four of their fingers would point straight at Apocalypse’s huge blue head without the slightest hesitation.

When all was said and done, Apocalypse’s thinking belonged to an ancient man who had remained stuck five thousand years in the past. The method he wanted to use to conquer the world was the same one he had used in ancient Egypt: put on a cult-leader act, find four Mutants and enhance their power, then prepare to rule the world?

Heh!

That method might still have worked in ancient Egypt… maybe?

Worked my ass!

If his method of rule had truly been so effective, there would not have been rebellions back then, and he would not have had to sleep in a pyramid for five thousand years.

A backward plan that had failed even in ancient Egypt—using it to rule modern society was an outrageous load of crap.

While Li Congxin and his daughter were mentally roasting this guy who had been outdated for five thousand years, everyone else’s eyes turned toward Charles.

After hearing Apocalypse’s words, Charles merely shook his head calmly. "I can’t agree to that." He then turned to Magneto. "Old friend, you shouldn’t help someone like him. You’ll only bring war and disaster to our fellow Mutants."

Magneto gave Charles a complicated look and said coldly, "Look at my mind."

Charles froze when he heard that. The two had known and understood each other for so many years, but this was the first time Magneto had ever made such a request. Since he had said this, the reason for his return must be within his memories—and it must be something he was not afraid to let others see.

Thus, the mental powers of Professor X, Jean Grey, Li Congxin, and Li Qianhuan entered Magneto’s mind simultaneously.

What appeared before their eyes was an extremely tragic scene.

Magneto, who had been living in hiding and working at a steel mill, had his identity exposed. He was preparing to flee with his family when the police pursuing him cornered him.

Originally, for the sake of his family’s safety, Magneto had given up resisting and chosen to surrender meekly, mentally preparing himself to be locked up in a plastic prison once again.

But at that moment, his daughter’s abilities suddenly awakened. Because she did not want to lose her father, the little girl directly controlled ravens to attack the police. One officer accidentally fired an arrow. With one shot, he skewered Magneto’s wife and daughter together like candied hawthorn.

Having lost the two people closest to him in the world at once, Magneto’s rage instantly shot through the roof. With a single coin, he killed every police officer at the scene.

Seeing this, Li Congxin could not help crying out inwardly in regret.

As the Marvel Universe’s beloved father-in-law, every daughter Magneto had fathered possessed heaven-defying beauty and strength. His daughter had been able to control ravens immediately after awakening at such a young age. Who knew whether she might have grown up to control Flerkens, Groot, Galactus, or something like that?

And yet such a promising talent had been snuffed out in the cradle. How could anyone not sigh in dismay!?

But speaking of which, why had Magneto’s daughter awakened with abilities related to Mind Control?

"Achoo!"

Perhaps because his mind had suffered severe trauma earlier, Charles, whose health had otherwise been fairly good, suddenly sneezed. He hurriedly took out a handkerchief and wiped the snot and blood beneath his nose before raising his head again and saying to Magneto, "I’ve seen what happened to you. I’m deeply saddened by it, but you can’t take revenge on the entire world because of that."

Li Congxin no longer knew how to roast Charles’s argument.

His entire family had just died, and you were telling him to be magnanimous? For no apparent reason, a video scene featuring the Horseshoe Teacher surfaced in Li Congxin’s mind…

Seeing that the melodrama had nearly run its course, Li Qianhuan finally pointed at Apocalypse, the leader of the five, and asked Li Congxin, "Dad, the others are all rather complicated, and I can’t tell whether they deserve to die. But that blue-faced, big-headed guy obviously isn’t a good person. It should be fine if I kill him, right?"

Li Congxin nodded. "Kill him, and this story will be over."

The exchange between father and daughter drew everyone’s attention.

Weren’t we currently discussing how to rule the world and how to stop Apocalypse from ruling it? You two are about to kill the biggest boss just while talking. Is that really okay?

Received from Apocalypse...

Received...

...

"Received!"

Having finally found the best solution to the problem, Li Qianhuan’s eyes lit up. She flicked her finger, and a crystal-blue throwing knife sprang into her grasp. Her gaze settled on Apocalypse opposite her as she closed one eye and took aim.

"Hmph! You’re asking to die!" Seeing that the Li father-daughter pair did not take anyone present seriously, Angel was the first to declare that he could not tolerate it. His steel wings beat, sending him soaring into the air. Then he swept both wings, and countless throwing knives suddenly shot from them, scattering indiscriminately toward Li Congxin and his daughter.

Li Qianhuan did not even bother looking at Angel’s attack. Her dad was watching from beside her, so all she had to do was aim.

Li Congxin merely shook his head lightly. As the throwing knives reached them, they abruptly transformed into soap bubbles, which drifted everywhere when the wind blew.

After casually neutralizing Angel’s attack, Li Congxin added a comment. "The special effects on your throwing knives are ridiculously bad. Compared with Danchengzi from fifteen years ago, they’re several grades worse."

Received Impression Points from Warren Kenneth Worthington III: +99!

Meanwhile, after half a day of emotional preparation, Li Qianhuan finally completed her "aiming." She made a "whoosh!" sound effect with her mouth, and the crystal-blue throwing knife transformed into a streak of light. It silently pierced through the void and shot straight at Apocalypse!