High-Difficulty Staged Accident

Roast whole lamb was a heavily flavored dish. With Kreacher brushing it with seasonings like cumin and pepper, it tasted even better, but the lamb flavor also became stronger.

So, roast lamb was usually paired with good red wine, allowing the aromas of both to complement each other.

But where was Li Feng supposed to get red wine? This guy only recognized beer.

In the end, Stark said he couldn’t stand it any longer and called Potts, asking her to buy a few bottles of red wine to go with the roast lamb.

Once Potts had bought the wine and some snacks, Li Feng opened a Portal and brought her to the lakeside.

Dinner proceeded in a cheerful atmosphere, though Stark could not hold his liquor. In the end, he hugged a lamb leg and sprawled across the dining table.

Potts felt rather embarrassed at the sight. She had wanted to take the lamb leg from Stark’s hands, but after trying several times, she could only give up helplessly. She was simply too weak to do anything about Stark.

With no other choice, Potts apologetically asked Li Feng to open a Portal, and together they helped Stark onto the bed.

Li Feng had no reason to refuse Potts’s small request. He efficiently opened a Portal and tossed Stark onto the large bed.

Seeing that Stark was still clutching the lamb leg even while lying in bed, Potts felt both embarrassed and helpless. Using the excuse of getting Stark some water, she hurried out of the room, deciding that out of sight was out of mind.

Inside the room, Li Feng looked at Stark with an amused half-smile. "Get up. You can keep the lamb leg."

When Stark continued pretending to be drunk with the shamelessness of a dead pig unafraid of boiling water, Li Feng said speechlessly, "What hasn’t a billionaire like you eaten? Does Iron Man have no pride at all? Do you really think I’d believe you can’t bear to put it down because the lamb leg is that delicious? I know why you’re doing this. You just think making armor at home will make Potts uneasy. But you’re also a late-stage paranoia patient. Not having power to protect yourself makes your heart tremble, right?"

The corner of Stark’s mouth twitched slightly, but in the end, he said nothing and continued his drunken act. Li Feng sighed and opened a Portal as he advised, "You need to rest properly. Find a place to fish, maybe, or build a sailboat like I did, then go crazy and mess around for fun."

With that, Li Feng ignored whatever Stark might think and crossed the Portal back to the lakeside.

Inside the room, Stark opened his eyes sorrowfully and stared blankly at the lamb leg in his hands. Only when he heard Potts returning with a glass of water did he sigh, let go of the lamb leg, and fall asleep.

Several months later.

With Li Feng acting as supervisor and Killian and ten Mummies serving as laborers, a roughly fifty-meter-long sailboat, modified by Fitz to better suit aerodynamics, was officially completed.

Li Feng circled the cabin he had personally overseen several times. After confirming there was nothing wrong with the sailboat, he hung a pirate flag bearing a Skeleton in a straw hat from the sails and ordered the Mummies to push the sailboat into the lake.

After playing with the sailboat for several days, Li Feng increasingly felt that sailing around a lake was rather underwhelming. Even after shrinking the sailboat with magic, it still felt underwhelming to pilot, and there were no targets on the lake for him to shoot at, wasting the dozen or so cannons aboard.

After some thought, Li Feng waved his hand and opened a Portal, steering the sailboat toward the ocean.

But Li Feng had forgotten one thing. Although there were plenty of ships at sea, it was not as though he could encounter one whenever he wanted.

Besides, his was only a five-to-six-hundred-ton little ship, a wooden sailing vessel flying a pirate flag. Even if he spotted other ships, so what? He had to be able to catch up first.

If he ran into a cargo ship weighing tens of millions of tons, they would not even spare Li Feng a glance before running right over him.

Li Feng was so irritated that several times he wanted to cast a spell on the sailboat so he could catch up and begin his piracy career. Fortunately, he remembered that he was here to have fun, not to truly cause trouble, and eventually gave up on the idea.

After drifting on the ocean for several days, Li Feng could only feel that business was hard. He could not catch the big ships, though he could catch smaller ones, such as fishing boats operating near the coast.

But what was he supposed to rob from fishing boats? Their salted fish? He was a good boy who went home for meals on time every day. His home was not lacking in salted fish.

In the end, Li Feng set himself a small goal: if he was going to rob something, he would rob something big, like a Helicarrier.

That thing was full of aircraft. If he snatched just one, he would strike it rich.

Thinking of this, Li Feng, bored out of his mind, opened a Portal home to fetch his phone. Then he lay on the deck like a salted fish, called Fury, and said, "Fury, I want to ask you something."

On the other end of the line, Fury said with some impatience, "What is it? Speak quickly."

"Where’s that Helicarrier?" Li Feng asked slowly.

Fury frowned. While guessing what Li Feng wanted, he asked, "I’m busy. Just tell me what you want, or I’m hanging up."

"Uh…" Li Feng scratched his head and explained, "I recently finished building my sailboat and even hung a pirate flag on it, but robbing ordinary little ships just doesn’t feel interesting. I want to pull off something big, preferably the kind where one job keeps me fed for three years. So I was thinking of robbing the Helicarrier. S.H.I.E.L.D. is rich anyway."

"Get lost!" Fury’s forehead veins were already throbbing as he instinctively prepared to smash his phone, but then he suddenly thought of something. Taking several deep breaths to calm himself, he said quietly, "If you’re that idle, go help Coulson with something."

"Coulson?" Li Feng asked in confusion. "What happened to him? Did he cause trouble?"

Fury rubbed his forehead and said tiredly, "Dr. Hall of S.H.I.E.L.D. has been kidnapped by an invisible enemy. Ask Coulson for the details."

"An invisible enemy?" Finding it interesting, Li Feng sprang to his feet on the deck and asked, "Can you determine whether it’s technological invisibility or magic?"

Fury shook his head slightly. "No idea. If they’re using magic to turn invisible and attack, then this is your responsibility. Otherwise, I can only put up missing-person notices all over the world and look for Ancient One."

Hearing Fury’s missing-person-notice method, Li Feng involuntarily imagined Ancient One’s bald head plastered across telephone poles all over the world.

Are you planning to make it impossible for Ancient One to ever go out again?

But why does it feel so hilarious? Li Feng shook his head, tossing aside the thought, and said, "Fine, I’ll go take a look. Tell me Coulson’s approximate location. I’ll find him myself." Licking his lips, Li Feng grinned wickedly. "I wonder what it feels like to ride Dark Cloud into the sky and rob airplanes. It must be exciting."

Fury’s mouth twitched. Following the principle of sacrificing Coulson to preserve the peace of the Helicarrier, Fury quickly gave Li Feng the coordinates of Coulson’s Air Command.

After hanging up, Li Feng first sailed the sailboat back into the lake, then opened a Portal near Coulson and rode Dark Cloud through the sky in search of airplanes.

About fifteen minutes later, Li Feng finally found Coulson’s team.

Just as Li Feng was preparing to slip directly into the cabin, his eyes shifted, and he grinned as he turned invisible and sprawled across the cockpit windshield.

When he saw Melinda May in the pilot’s seat, Li Feng suddenly revealed himself, knocked on the glass, and said, "Hey, girl, how are you flying this thing? You hit someone, you know. Hurry up and pay up."

Naturally, Li Feng’s voice could not reach Melinda’s ears, but she was still startled badly by his sudden appearance.

Veins throbbed on Melinda’s fist as she kept her slightly pale poker face. She silently picked up the microphone and said coldly, "Coulson, there’s an idiot lying on the windshield. I want to crash this bastard to death."

After hearing Melinda’s broadcast, every member of Coulson’s team froze in confusion for several seconds before rushing toward the cockpit.

Who exactly was this remarkable person lying on the windshield, to make even the quiet and reserved Melinda angry enough to curse?

More importantly, the plane was in flight. How had he climbed onto it?…

Just as everyone was about to rush into the cockpit, Li Feng, finding the wind outside the cabin a little too strong, slipped inside and sat in the co-pilot’s seat. He curiously examined the instruments before him and asked Melinda, whose face had turned dark, "With so many buttons and gauges, don’t you find it troublesome? Want me to find time to replace the controls in the cockpit with a car steering wheel?"

Melinda was certain Li Feng was capable of it, since she had driven the motorhome.

But she had joined Coulson’s team and become its pilot precisely because the cockpit was quiet.

If the cockpit became like driving a car, where anyone could make the plane take off just by holding the steering wheel, pressing the clutch, shifting gears, releasing the clutch, and stepping on the accelerator, how was she supposed to keep her peaceful job?

Would anyone who could drive a car be able to fly a plane?

Hearing Coulson and the others approaching, Melinda shot Li Feng a deathly glare and said without turning around, "Coulson, throw this guy in the back. Don’t let him disturb me while I’m flying."

Li Feng turned to look at Coulson’s team behind him, casually greeted them, and said, "Old Coulson, your May hit me with her plane. How do you think we should handle this? Public settlement or private settlement? If you choose public settlement, your Melinda will probably have her pilot’s license revoked." Scratching his head as though he had suddenly remembered something, Li Feng turned to Melinda and asked, "You get points deducted and fines for traffic violations while driving. Do pilots have points to deduct too?"

Pilots certainly had ratings, but were those the same as points deducted from a driver’s license? Melinda’s mouth twitched as she silently put on her headset, looking as if she did not want to deal with Li Feng at all.

Understanding that Li Feng was bored out of his mind and playing a staged-accident game, Coulson’s mouth twitched. Jokingly, he said, "I think public settlement would be better. After all, I can confirm that you don’t have a pilot’s license. Flying without a license is far more serious than Melinda hitting someone with a plane in midair."

"Public settlement is no fun." Li Feng stood and threw an arm around Coulson’s shoulders like they were old buddies. As they walked out of the cockpit, he said, "I think private settlement is better. When the time comes, I’ll have Egg reimburse your losses, the double-reimbursement kind. And then, hehe, we’ll split the benefits between us. Since I went out of my way to get hit by the plane, you get three shares, I get six, and the remaining share is hush money for the witnesses. What do you think?"

Coulson said, "You should just ask Fury for the benefits directly. I’m not getting involved in your nonsense."

Coulson smiled mildly. Just as he was about to introduce the team’s new member to Li Feng and casually hint that Li Feng should give them an Amulet, the new member widened his eyes in surprise. "Uncle Austin?"