I’m Going to Kick Your Bat Ass with My Boots

"They fell from the sky. One of the robots is heading this way. Of the other two, one is a friend Carl invited over last time."

"Then, Mr. Joe, was that friend wearing a black bat suit?"

"Yes."

"Did he also tour this armory last time?"

Shimizu suddenly had a very bad feeling.

"Yes."

Of course.

"You must have told him how to use every single thing in here, too."

"Carl said that when facing trustworthy friends, one should hold nothing back."

Shimizu helplessly covered his forehead.

Superman’s personality…

You were way too honest!

Whatever Batman told you, you just believed? Holding nothing back for friends…

"Mr. Joe, the Fortress of Solitude has defensive weapons, right? That robot is no good. Your precious son was injured by that thing. Hit it with whatever powerful Kryptonian weapons you have!"

"Carl said that whenever friends came to visit, all weapon systems with lethal capabilities had to be shut down."

Fuck.

This was utterly batshit.

Bruce Wayne, what kind of mind-control potion did you feed Superman to make him as obedient as a little wife?!

"Can Carl come out now?"

"No. To ensure the treatment’s effectiveness, Carl is currently in deep sleep. Two minutes and eleven seconds remain until treatment is complete."

"Can you move the things in here elsewhere?"

"You do not possess the required authorization."

Fuck!

Shimizu stopped wasting words, turned, donned the White Warrior, and charged toward the entrance.

Batman had toured the Fortress of Solitude’s armory = Zur-En-Arrh had toured it = Fault Insurance knew about the armory = Fault Insurance wanted the weapons here!

"Boom!"

A tremendous explosion erupted within the Fortress of Solitude, shaking countless transparent crystals loose from the dome.

Wonder Woman was slammed into the wall by Fault Insurance’s heavy punch.

"Didn’t you say you injected it with some virus called Mercy up on the Watchtower? Why don’t I feel even the slightest bit of mercy from this thing?"

"I don’t know. Perhaps Fault Insurance’s AI blocked the virus, or perhaps it was never a virus at all."

Batman, wearing the Anti-Superman Armor that had once been modified from the Anti-Puppet Master Armor, desperately fought Fault Insurance… by taking a beating.

Fortunately, the exterior of this armor, which had once been used against Doomsday, had also been plated with Nth Metal. Otherwise, Earth’s greatest detective and tactical master would have been dead already.

It couldn’t be helped. Batman knew himself too well, and the Fault Insurance he had created knew him too well too.

Perhaps Zur-En-Arrh had created a virus capable of defeating Fault Insurance. Or perhaps even he could not create one.

More likely, the so-called Mercy Virus was merely an order from Zur-En-Arrh to Fault Insurance.

Only, instead of causing Fault Insurance to reboot and reset as Batman had expected, that order had made it destroy the Space Watchtower, which had cost over a billion to build, and descend voluntarily toward the Fortress of Solitude.

Even as Batman was being beaten up, he rapidly guessed at Fault Insurance’s objective.

Perhaps it was…

"Bruce Wayne, you goddamn disaster! You terminal paranoia case! Is there something wrong with your brain?!"

Batman’s train of thought was interrupted by Shimizu’s cursing.

"How much longer until Clark recovers?" Batman asked Shimizu as he arrived.

Diana had not fully recovered yet. If she were at her peak, perhaps she could barely cut through Nth Metal’s defenses with the Sword of Vulcan.

Now, they could only place their hopes on Superman.

"A little over a minute," Shimizu replied irritably.

The instant his words fell, the red light in Fault Insurance’s eyes brightened another level.

"Activating overload mode."

Oh, shit!

"Bang!"

A crushing punch struck the shield and sent Wonder Woman flying. Then several freezing explosive rounds detonated at Wonder Woman’s side, temporarily encasing her in ice.

Her divine power had yet to recover. Wonder Woman might need several seconds of struggling before she could break free.

And in those few seconds alone, the armor on Shimizu and Batman spontaneously exploded from within.

"Why are there nanobots too?!"

"It probably replenished them at the Space Watchtower."

"No, why did you lure this thing there, then? Didn’t you say you were going to trap it at the Watchtower?"

Zur-En-Arrh told me the Watchtower had a way to deal with it!

"The Watchtower blew up."

"I put several hundred million into that too, damn it! Pay up!"

"Now isn’t the time for that!"

Batman shakily pushed himself up from the ground and discovered that Fault Insurance did not continue attacking him directly. Instead, it rushed toward the Fortress of Solitude’s armory.

Zur-En-Arrh really had another purpose he had hidden from him!

A sense of unease at events slipping beyond his control engulfed Batman.

"Wade, can you still stand?"

"I really want to pull your brain out and see what kind of messed-up nonsense is in there that caused this disaster. Then I want to kick your bat ass with my boots, and shove that weird bat brain back in."

Still cursing, Shimizu climbed to his feet and used the Mystical Palm Technique to heal himself.

"Don’t heal me. Go stop Fault Insurance!"

"Who the fuck said I was healing you?!"

Shimizu cursed again and charged toward the armory.

He was furious now.

Fuck, even when facing Doomsday before, he had never been this battered!

"Crack!"

The ice shattered. Wonder Woman broke free from the frost, shot Batman a disdainful glance, and charged forward.

Batman: …

The energy module inside the Anti-Superman Armor had been destroyed.

Fault Insurance knew Batman’s methods far too well. The blueprints and countermeasures for every suit Batman had ever created might well have been stored in Fault Insurance’s database.

While this Anti-Superman Armor possessed powerful defenses and strength, without its energy-powered motors, it could not be operated by human strength alone.

He could only remove the armor first. Otherwise, he might not even be able to move better than an ordinary person.

By the time the armor came off and Bruce Wayne, wearing a shirt with his sleeves rolled up, reached the armory entrance, Fault Insurance had already gotten what it wanted.

A thick energy gun. Whatever it hit would immediately disintegrate and vanish, erased outright.

Shimizu and Wonder Woman stood on either side of Fault Insurance, each gripping one of its metal arms and restraining its movements.

Looking at the gun’s shape, Bruce Wayne suddenly seemed to understand something.