Spider-Man, Great at Making Friends

"Did you get your learner’s permit? Does that mean we’ll be able to take my dad’s car to the beach soon?"

At a small café beside Midtown’s shopping street, Gwen slowly stirred the coffee before her with a spoon. Peter, sitting across from her, said, "My uncle doesn’t have much time. They found a shadow on his lung during a hospital checkup, but thankfully it’s only a mild inflammation. You know, he smoked when he was young…"

"Of course. Everyone from that generation was like that. My dad too. Whenever his coat smelled like smoke, my mom would argue with him."

"Even though I got my learner’s permit, my uncle doesn’t have time. Without someone accompanying me, I can’t drive alone on the road. I haven’t even driven a car before." Peter shrugged.

"I’m not really good at driving either. You only need to pass a written test for a learner’s permit. I can barely start a car now, but as for actually driving…" Peter shook his head.

"Who knows when I’ll pass the road test? I hardly even ride in cars, let alone drive one."

The Parker family only had an old pickup truck that Uncle Ben used to commute to work. Whenever Peter went to intern at Stark Industries, he relied on his own webbing to swing between skyscrapers.

In the United States, people Peter’s age generally only got learner’s permits, which merely required a written test. But to drive alone, they also had to pass a road test. Peter had barely touched a car, and no matter how gifted he was, he couldn’t conjure experience from nothing. Passing the road test was still a distant prospect.

Gwen heard the disappointment in Peter’s tone and changed the subject.

"I heard Stark Industries gave you a pretty generous internship allowance and plans to have you work for them in the future?"

"Yes. Even though I told my uncle and aunt that they’d cover my college tuition in the future, they were obviously frightened by the expensive tuition fees at good universities. They want to save every penny in case something unexpected happens."

"I think that’s good. Sometimes I feel like they worry too much, but when certain disasters really happen, I realize their concerns aren’t entirely unreasonable." Gwen’s gentleness and understanding always made Peter feel as though he didn’t deserve her.

"If your uncle can’t accompany you while you practice driving, doesn’t he have any friends? Or do you have any other free adults you could ask?"

Peter thought for a moment. "You reminded me. I do have a few candidates…"

The next day, in the living room of the psychological clinic, Peter said, "…That’s the situation. I have to get some hands-on experience with a car before I can pass the road test, right?"

Schiller paused, feeling that this was no big deal. Given Peter’s talent, surely taking him for a spin would teach him everything he needed to know.

So he said, "No problem. I’d be happy to help. I’ll drive you around first while you watch from the passenger seat, then we’ll switch and you can try it yourself. You’ll learn it all in less than an afternoon."

Dozens of minutes later, Schiller sat in the driver’s seat, having somehow produced a little booklet. While adjusting the steering wheel, he read from it. "Let’s see, the section on turning and changing lanes… Oh, here it is! Wait, isn’t this rule a little strange?"

Pikachu and Peter stared wide-eyed at each other from the passenger seat. Pikachu said, "I’m guessing he never read the New York Driver’s Manual before taking his driver’s test."

"Wasn’t that already obvious?" Peter said.

"Then why don’t you think about how he passed his test in the first place?"

Peter stared stiffly ahead. "As long as I don’t think about that question, I’ll feel temporarily safe."

A few minutes later, Peter and Schiller were standing beside the car, shivering in New York’s cold early-winter wind.

Holding a phone, Schiller said, "Hello? Insurance company? Yes… I’ve already sent you the location… Oh, it’s not serious. Just a scrape along the side of the vehicle…"

Then he covered the receiver and shouted at the owner of a white Audi nearby, "Shut up!! This is all your fault! Haven’t you read the New York Driver’s Manual? I had the right of way going straight! You can’t—"

Twenty minutes later, a flashy red supercar pulled up beside the accident scene. Stark, wearing sunglasses inside the car, waved at Peter. "Let’s go! Your Uncle Tony will show you the sights along the New York coastline!"

Then he let out a dismissive snort. "You should’ve come to me from the start. Just look at that Doctor. Does he look anything like a real racing driver? I’d bet he’s never driven over a hundred miles an hour in his life…"

Peter looked back at Schiller, who was still on the phone with the insurance company, then climbed into Stark’s sports car with Pikachu in his arms.

Before long, Pikachu clamped his paws tightly over his ears and shouted at Peter through the howling wind, "Why is he!!!! Speeding!!!!! With the roof down?!!!!"

"How should I know!!!!!!" Peter shouted back.

"This is called Fast & Furious!!!!! Got it?!!!!!" Stark shouted as well.

A few minutes later, the sports car also pulled over by the roadside. Stark somehow dug out a small booklet and said while reading it, "Damn it… How do I close the roof again? I’ve barely ever driven manually myself… No, no, no, Jarvis, I don’t need your help…"

"Let me see… Oh, here it is! What?? Vehicle Intelligent Management System???? Why the hell is it smart again??? I want to drive manually! This is a lesson, understand?? Isn’t there a button or something??"

Twenty minutes later, Steve picked up Peter by the roadside. Peter’s hair had been blown into a bird’s nest, while Pikachu desperately tugged at his fur, which had been blown into knots. "I never should’ve believed your nonsense about taking a drive! I’m just a mouse, I don’t need to learn to drive. Why did I even come out with you?"

Peter comforted him, "It’s okay. Captain America definitely won’t be as unreliable as those two!"

Indeed, Steve had arrived in an utterly ordinary black Cadillac. After Peter got in, Steve started the car with practiced ease. At least he didn’t pull out a little booklet and read while driving. Peter breathed a sigh of relief.

But very soon, he couldn’t laugh anymore. Steve’s speed kept climbing, and he didn’t slow down for turns. Every drift left black scorch marks on the road, while Peter was violently slammed into the door on the other side. Pikachu, clutched in his arms, nearly flew out the window.

Then, as they approached a speed bump, Steve showed no intention of slowing down at all. Under Peter and Pikachu’s horrified gazes, the car charged straight over it. When the front wheels struck the bump, the vehicle jolted violently, and its entire front end lifted into the air.

Steve paid no heed. The car practically flew over the speed bump. Peter was bounced straight out of his seat, his head smashing hard into the roof. When he fell back down, the seat struck his waist, and he screamed, "Oh!!! My back!!"

By then, Pikachu had been plastered against the windshield.

Steve continued driving as though nothing had happened. Seeing Peter’s miserable state, he smiled. "This car’s suspension system is already very advanced. Back when I drove on the battlefield, after less than twenty kilometers, my legs and arms would be covered in bruises…"

"Learning to drive always involves a process like this. Road speed bumps are much better than battlefield spike traps and anti-vehicle barricades, aren’t they?"

Twenty minutes later, Coulson arrived in a S.H.I.E.L.D. special vehicle and picked up Steve and Peter. Steve complained, "I take back what I said about this car. Its quality is terrible. Why did it stall?"

Coulson said, "Captain, even if you are Captain America, you can’t drive without a license and speed on New York’s main roads…"

"Damn it, what do you mean, without a license? How could I not have a driver’s license?!"

"Licenses issued before 1940 don’t count."

Steve pressed his lips together. "Fine, but at least I wasn’t speeding."

"Traffic laws from before 1940 don’t count either."

Pikachu sat lifelessly in Peter’s arms. "…You really are great at making friends."

Peter replied just as lifelessly, "I thought at least one of them would be reliable."

"That was just what you thought."

Coulson turned and asked, "So you wanted to get a driver’s license? Why didn’t you call and ask us? S.H.I.E.L.D. can issue you a full driver’s license directly, bypassing the Motor Vehicle Administration. We have that much authority."

Peter said, "If you’d told me that before today, I would’ve happily asked you to print me a full driver’s license right away."

"But now I’ve learned my lesson. I’d better practice slowly on my own. Before I drive on the road, I’ll memorize both the driver’s manual and the vehicle manual, then update my license information on time every year."

Coulson seemed rather surprised. He looked at Peter approvingly and said, "There aren’t many young people like you, upright and unwilling to pursue special privileges."

Peter said wearily, "That’s probably because I’m just too good at making friends."

Next week, Sanjiang!!

Going premium on the first!!!