The Fallen Thor

"I hope you come back…"

In space, aboard the Benatar, a group of people piloted the ship while bobbing their heads to the music. Thor even held up a beer and cheered, looking like he was throwing a party.

It was worth mentioning that Thor had not slimmed down. He had gotten even fatter. The reason was simple: his fiancée had gone missing, and he was heartbroken. Whenever he was heartbroken, he could not stop himself from drinking and eating meat. So, he got even fatter.

Nebula asked unhappily, "Hey, aren’t you worried at all? Nick Fury sent out the highest-level distress signal."

"Would worrying help? No. Since it won’t, why not be a little happier?"

Thor laughed at first, then said dejectedly, "Hela came, and I worried. Thanos came, and I worried too. Loki disappeared, and I worried even more. But it was all useless, because I’m just a good-for-nothing."

"Here we go again."

Everyone sighed. This was not the first or second time Thor had acted like this. After Thanos was eliminated, Thor had recovered somewhat. Then Loki suddenly disappeared, and no matter how they searched, they could not find her. Thor suffered a massive blow and reverted to his old state. No, more accurately, he was worse than before.

Destroyer Drax said, "Although you really are a good-for-nothing, you’re right. Since it’s all useless, why not be a little happier?"

"Shut up. You’re the main culprit behind Thor not recovering after all this time."

Rocket cursed. Not only did Drax have zero emotional intelligence, his mouth was especially vicious.

Drax asked in confusion, "Why should I shut up? I’m telling the truth, aren’t I? Thor is a good-for-nothing, a good-for-nothing who can’t protect his family, just like me. I’m a good-for-nothing too."

Everyone was starting to lose their minds. This guy was making things worse again? "Hahaha, I’m a good-for-nothing. Come on, drink. Let’s finish all the alcohol and restock when we get back to Earth."

Thor laughed loudly, but there was an indescribable desolation in his voice.

"I am Groot." Even teenage Groot could not help sighing.

Star-Lord shook his head repeatedly. At first, he had worried that Thor would steal his captain’s position, but now he was no longer worried about that at all. He was only worried that this drunkard would one day drink himself to death on his ship.

Just then, a voice suddenly rang out. "Thor, you disappoint me too much."

"Yes, I’m very disappointing, so don’t ever place your hopes in me."

Thor was answering when he suddenly realized something. He sharply turned toward the source of the voice and cried out, "Blood God."

"Blood God?"

The others turned around as well and discovered that the Blood God had truly arrived—or, more precisely, the Blood God’s Mental Projection.

Nebula asked in shock, "How critical is this situation? Nick Fury and the others actually asked you for help?"

Star-Lord also came to his senses. Unless it was a catastrophic disaster, those people on Earth would never dare disturb the Blood God.

"This matter is indeed troublesome."

Wang Bert looked at Thor and said, "Tony and Loki are back."

Thor’s eyes flew wide open. He asked excitedly, "What? Loki is back? Really?"

Wang Bert nodded. "Really. Loki is on Earth right now."

Thor was overjoyed. "That’s great, that’s great! I’m going back to see her immediately. Blood God, open a portal and send me over. Strange said you can teleport across the Entire Universe."

"I’m currently a Mental Projection, so I can’t open a portal."

Wang Bert shook his head first, then sighed. "Also, Thor, you’re celebrating a little too early."

Thor froze and hurriedly asked, "Blood God, did something happen to Loki?"

"Something did happen, but it can’t exactly be called an accident."

Wang Bert hesitated, and Thor grew anxious. He shouted, "Blood God, what exactly happened? Tell me now!"

The others all looked toward Wang Bert as well. Wang Bert patted Thor on the shoulder and said with an expression of mourning, "After Tony and Loki disappeared, they went through many hardships. They fought side by side, shared life and death, and over time, they just…"

"They got together?"

Rocket’s eyes lit up as he asked. Everyone suddenly understood. No wonder the Blood God looked like that. So Loki had thoughtfully given Thor a hat, so he would not catch cold in winter.

Thor’s breathing quickened. He asked furiously, "What did you say?"

"Thor, look on the bright side. You know what Tony is like. Loki is such a beautiful woman… sigh!"

Wang Bert looked as if he could not bear to continue. Thor flew into a rage, lightning crackling around his body as he roared, "Tony Stark, you actually dared steal my Loki! I’ll chop you to pieces!"

As Thor’s fury surged, the lightning around him crazily swelled like electric serpents. Star-Lord hurriedly shouted, "Hey, fatty, put that lightning away! The ship is going to malfunction, and we’ll all be dead!"

Everyone else shouted as well, "Stop it now!"

Thor came to his senses and hurriedly withdrew his lightning, but his rage did not subside. Red-faced and thick-necked, he yelled, "Quill, fly faster! I’m going back to Earth to chop up that bastard Tony! I’ll show him what Thor’s Wrath is!"

Although Thor still felt somewhat awkward about Loki, that did not stop him from wanting to kill Tony. After all, he and Loki had already gone all the way, and they were close to getting married.

Wang Bert asked with a puzzled expression, "Thor, why do you hate Tony so much? Although he has indeed turned evil, this has little to do with you, right?"

Thor looked utterly baffled. "Didn’t you say something happened between him and Loki?"

Wang Bert spread his hands. "Your mind is filthy. What I said was that Loki and Tony were in cahoots, wallowing in the mire together, and ruining Earth."

"That’s it?"

Everyone was deeply disappointed. Thor first breathed a sigh of relief, then flew into a rage. "Blood God, you tricked me?"

"Can’t I?"

Wang Bert sneered. "Thor, so what if I tricked you? What can you do to me?"

Thor was so angry that veins bulged on his forehead. He glared at Wang Bert and roared, "Blood God, no one can humiliate Thor like this!"

Wang Bert looked disdainful. "So what if I humiliate you? Are you a match for me?"

Thor roared, "Even if I’m not your match, I’ll still kill you! I am Thor, prince of Asgard!"

"You still have fire in your heart. At least you’re not beyond saving. If you didn’t even dare get angry, I would have kicked you off the ship."

Wang Bert snorted. Thor was still Thor, the incarnation of lightning! Everyone froze, then understood. Wang Bert had been testing Thor, seeing whether he had truly become a good-for-nothing.

Thor said unhappily, "I don’t like tests like this. Blood God, once we get to Earth, I’m going to beat you up."

Wang Bert scoffed. "In your current state, I could beat you with one hand."

Thor was about to speak when Nebula asked from the side, "Blood God, what exactly is going on with Loki and Tony? Did they turn evil?"

"Yes."

Wang Bert explained everything in detail, and everyone fell silent. They truly had not expected Old Tony to become like this.

"No wonder Nick Fury is so nervous. The Earth Guardian turned evil."

Star-Lord said, "It’s not a big problem. Leave this to the Guardians of the Galaxy. We’ll deal with Tony and Loki as quickly as possible. After all, we’re veterans of the cosmos."

Thor shouted unhappily, "Hey, Loki is my fiancée. If you dare be rough with her, don’t blame me for being rough with you."

"You?"

Star-Lord said disdainfully, "Pull your body out of that seat first. How many times has your chair been enlarged now?"

Rocket looked annoyed. "I’m the one who paid for those bigger chairs."

Thor was embarrassed and angry. Just as he was about to say something, Wang Bert slapped him on the forehead. Thor instantly lost consciousness and slumped back in his chair.

Nebula sighed. "The world is finally quiet."

Mantis said timidly, "Mr. Blood God, that isn’t a good way to make someone sleep. If you want him unconscious, I can help."

"I’m not making him sleep. I sent him into a Mind Illusion. His father and sister are waiting for him there."

Wang Bert smiled. "All right, enough about Thor. Let’s discuss what to do next. Old Tony and Loki will definitely come intercept you. I want to use this opportunity to snatch Loki away and uncover the secret of Iron Man."

Drax could not help yawning. What he hated most was planning, because he had no brain and was used to handling things with his muscles.

Everyone was already used to this and completely ignored Drax.

Star-Lord said arrogantly, "Blood God, your plan is too conservative. We should capture Iron Man and Loki in one sweep. I have a great plan…"

After listening to Star-Lord’s plan, Wang Bert waved a hand and cast a Silence Spell on him. Then he complained, "With a captain like this and teammates like these, you actually survived until now? Is there a secret illegitimate child of the Goddess of Luck among you?"

Star-Lord could only make muffled noises, his face full of dissatisfaction. He was a perfectly competent captain, all right? Thanks to his efforts, the Guardians of the Galaxy had become famous throughout the galaxy.

"I’ve always suspected that too."

Nebula nodded. "I suspect that person is Groot. He is the most important member of this team."

"You even have a suspect?"

Rocket complained. "And why Groot instead of me? I think I’m extremely lucky. I’ve done all kinds of suicidal things and never died."

Groot blinked, looking completely confused. Goddess of Luck—was she edible? "So you know you keep courting death?"

Wang Bert rolled his eyes and said, "Star-Lord, fly the ship. Rocket, adjust the weapons. Groot, keep playing your game. Drax, sleep. Nebula, grant me system access. I’ll help you upgrade the Quantum Communication system. That way, you can restore contact with Earth."

"Fine."

Nebula felt exhausted. In the entire team, she was somehow the only normal one. Everyone else was unreliable. No wonder the Blood God had called the Guardians of the Galaxy the Dumbass Guardians.

Mantis asked weakly, "Um, what about me?"

Wang Bert and Nebula froze, then looked a little awkward. Mantis had such a weak presence that they had forgotten about her.

After thinking for a moment, Wang Bert said, "Help Drax sleep."

"I won’t be able to sleep if I look at her. She’s too ugly."

Drax objected. Mantis smiled awkwardly but did not take it to heart—this was not the first time Drax had said something like that.

"The fact that this guy managed to win over Mantis is practically a miracle."

Wang Bert could not be bothered with these people. He first helped Nebula upgrade the communication system, then contacted Earth and discussed the next plan with Strange and the others.

For the time being, leaving Wang Bert and the others to their discussion, in the Mind World, Thor stood on a grassy field, looking around in confusion, not knowing why he was there.

Just then, two figures appeared out of thin air. One was a pot-bellied Odin, who looked at Thor with dissatisfaction, his single eye filled with rage and thunder.

The other was Hela, dressed like a shop owner, still wearing gothic makeup. Her hair looked as if it was soaked in cooking fumes—she fried stinky tofu every day, and her hair was full of oil.

Unlike before, Hela no longer carried any killing intent. All she had was the air of everyday life, like the big sister next door—uh, the silly big sister next door.

Hela looked at Thor and laughed loudly. "Odin, this is the ball you gave birth to."

Odin’s face darkened. He roared, "Thor, didn’t you say you would change? Why are you even more pathetic than before? I even married Loki to you. That was my precious daughter!"

"Father."

Thor came to his senses and ran over excitedly. "Are you real, or did the Blood God create you?"

"Of course we’re real. The Blood God was going to Future Time-Space, so I specifically asked him to bring a trace of my consciousness along to see how you and Loki were doing. And this is what you turned into?"

Odin cursed angrily. Hela said, "I was bored, so I came here to take a look around. Odin, do you realize how good I am now?"

"Talk after you make the Stinky Tofu Shop profitable."

Odin snorted, then cursed at Thor, "Thor, what exactly are you doing?"

Thor briefly explained what had happened, then defended himself. "Father, I didn’t want this either. The problem is that Loki suddenly disappeared."

"Don’t push the responsibility onto Loki. Her disappearance is not the main reason for your decline. The main reason is that you lack confidence in yourself."

Hela sneered. "That is why you gave the throne to Valkyrie. This wasn’t because you were generous. You were just shirking responsibility, also known as passing the buck.

"As the prince of Asgard, you have a duty to restore Asgard’s glory. At the very least, you cannot keep being fishermen. Yet you did nothing. You found an excuse and pushed your own responsibility onto someone else."

Thor defended himself guiltily, "I didn’t."

"You did. Thor Odinson, you are running away, you are shirking responsibility. Although you defeated Thanos, you still never stood back up."

Hela said, "Your spirit has completely collapsed."

Being a shut-in could easily wear down a person’s fighting spirit and conviction. Thor had been a shut-in for five years and was no longer the strong, vigorous man he once was.

"I’m not running away. I truly don’t have the ability to revive Asgard. I can’t even protect them."

The wound in Thor’s heart was torn open. He could not help giving a bitter laugh. "Father, Sister, I’m a useless good-for-nothing. It’s not as if I never tried to manage Asgard, but Valkyrie did it a hundred times better than I did. Every time, I only made things worse."

"My son, you are Thor, Asgard’s destined king."

Odin was both angry and heartbroken. He stepped forward and embraced Thor. "What you lack is only a little experience. As long as you study hard, you will definitely become a qualified king."