Ultraman, Calabash Brothers, A Certain Magical Index

Naruto World’s Duke rolled his Byakugan. Whatever Zombie Brother World’s Duke did, he lost money on it, as if the God of Poverty had possessed him. In this life, he simply had no connection to wealth. Being poor was one thing; wouldn’t it be better to live honestly? Yet he just had to stir up trouble…

"KW74 Enhancer is a drug that can greatly increase the human body’s reaction speed and strength. Once injected into the heart, it rapidly devours and replaces the body’s original cells. The efficacy depends on a person’s willpower. The more cells it replaces, the stronger the enhancement."

"But the process is extremely painful. Even tough men with nerves of steel can only endure it for half an hour." Zombie Brother World’s Duke went on endlessly. "If I had to name a risk, it would probably be that the injection method hurts a bit. It’s injected into the heart, so there may be a risk to one’s life."

"An injection into the heart… Who would risk their life to buy that?" Naruto World’s Duke rolled his Byakugan. This guy had money on the brain, and his get-rich schemes were all so niche.

"It’s fine. We only need to put the instructions in the manual and leave that part out of the advertisement!" Zombie Brother World’s Duke said as if it were perfectly natural. Dear customers, my advertising budget wasn’t enough, so I didn’t include that part. The fifteen seconds were up already, so don’t blame me.

"Isn’t that deceiving consumers?" Hokage Duke was covered in black lines. We missed Bitcoin, then missed Taobao. Can’t we just seriously consider some legitimate business?

"Who cares! Making money is what matters!"

"Tell me, why are you working so hard to make money? To buy wealth-management insurance?" Naruto World’s Duke asked doubtfully. "Didn’t you join the Yanhuang Special Forces? You’re even a highly paid outside consultant. You get a hefty salary every month, so you shouldn’t be short on cash!"

"Heh heh, you might not believe this! That insurance company I invested in before is raising funds. I have an official background and enjoy preferential treatment on internal original shares, so of course I need to buy more and wait for dividends."

"…"

Naruto World’s Duke was suddenly speechless. Without another word, he turned to leave. He never should have held any expectations for this guy.

"Hey, hey, don’t go!" Zombie Brother World’s Duke stopped him. "I’ve even prepared the advertisement. Pay 69,999 in one lump sum for the enhancement drug, and you’ll get a deluxe gift pack. A high-powered flashlight worth 188, night-vision goggles worth 1,888, a military dagger worth 888, and a Z8-Type Machete worth 8,888—none of it costs extra; take it all home for free. Buy now and enjoy helicopter home delivery. Don’t miss this chance, because it won’t come again. It’s not even seventy thousand, so what are you waiting for…" Zombie Brother World’s Duke spoke animatedly, spraying saliva everywhere. "What a steal, right?"

"Price it at 998 and it’ll sell even better… Remember to inlay the machete with gold and diamonds." Hokage Duke no longer had the strength to say more. He pushed aside the idiot from Corpse Brother World and headed toward the main group, praying that tonight’s newcomers would be a little more reliable.

Three new faces had arrived today. From left to right, there were two humans and one alien… Yes, an alien.

This alien stood upright on two feet. It was a humanoid lifeform with many insect-like features. Its body was black and white, with black on its head, abdomen, and back, while the insides of its arms and its legs were white. Its head had silver-gray horns like those of a bull. Aside from its thumbs, its other four fingers were fused together. There were nearly trapezoidal pentagonal protrusions on both sides of its face, with a yellow glowing organ in the middle. Two oval yellow organs also grew on its chest.

By human standards of beauty, this fellow would probably have a hard time finding a girlfriend. No, he definitely wouldn’t find one.

The second was relatively ordinary: a normal human dressed in ancient attire, a green shirt beneath a gray robe, long hair tied beneath a cap. He exuded a strong ancient air and seemed quite otherworldly.

The third was the most ordinary of all: a lab coat, white shirt, and black trousers. Before the Dukes transmigrated, that was how they dressed in hospitals too.

Unable to guess the three men’s identities at all, the Dukes did not waste words. They swarmed over and exchanged memories, and Unknown Space immediately became as lively as a marketplace again.

"Holy shit, it really is Ultraman!"

"It’s a monster, not Ultraman!"

"I mean Ultraman’s world…"

"A monster is great! Good thing it’s a monster and not Ultraman. Thank goodness there’s no zipper on its back."

"As long as it isn’t human. In Ultraman’s world, the ones who die the most are the bystanders."

"Monster Zetton… That’s a very powerful kind of monster, right?"

"Yeah, its base stats are very high. It often beats Ultraman senseless."

The Dukes enthusiastically discussed the alien. Its background was no small matter. Its original body was the famed Space Dinosaur Zetton, a monster that appeared as the strongest monster in many Ultraman series and forced multiple Warriors of Light into bitter battles.

"I’m not that strong!" Duke Zetton said modestly. "I’m nowhere near as powerful as the elders of my race. I’m just a rookie noob. If I run into the Space Garrison, all I can do is flee."

Duke, who had transmigrated into the Ultraman world, had gloriously become a new member of the Zetton race. He was now dedicated to the great cause of destroying Neon Country. His signature tactic was to beat Ultraman up first, then turn and run once the other party’s warning light came on. With this move, he had stubbornly survived thirty episodes and was charging toward the finale…

It was a little shameless and a little cheap, but strategically there was nothing wrong with it. Everyone knew that Ultraman in his final minute was not to be provoked.

After praising Duke Zetton, everyone looked toward the second man and cast respectful gazes his way. This Duke, dressed in ancient style, was the cultivator they had long awaited. The world he was in was the familiar, universally known, household-name classic with an 8.8 rating on Douban… Calabash Brothers!

Why there were cultivators in the Calabash Brothers World did not take the Dukes much thought. That world had humans, demons, and freaks like the Calabash Brothers who were born extraordinary. Having cultivators was completely normal. In a world where demons ran rampant, wouldn’t humanity have gone extinct long ago without means of self-defense?

When Duke, who had transmigrated into the Calabash Brothers World, learned that there was a Calabash Mountain next door and an old grandpa in the mountain… Ah, that two great demons were sealed beneath the mountain, one Snake Demon and one Scorpion Demon, he completely broke down.

Leaving aside whether the Calabash Brothers world itself deserved ridicule, demons were still quite frightening in the eyes of Chinese people. Just as he was living in constant fear, hey, several Daoist priests from a cultivation sect on another mountain came down and began widely accepting disciples.

While inwardly mocking the opening of a third-rate cultivation novel, Duke resolutely joined the sect’s disciple selection. With a clever mind far beyond those of his peers—what was known as being precocious—he was accepted into the mountain gate. He had now achieved great completion of the Golden Core realm and was only one step away from the Nascent Soul realm. Skilled in Five Elements Escape Techniques, he served as an elder within the sect.

Well, it was a textbook third-rate cultivation plot… By the way, Duke from the Calabash Brothers World had already been reborn for nearly two hundred years.

"Greetings, fellow Daoists! Alone for more than a hundred years, I devoted myself to seeking the Dao. Yet the heavens were vast, and the earth was vast; as far as my eyes could see, there was only boundless emptiness. My heart was trapped and my spirit weary, with nothing to entertain myself. Only at this moment did I understand that though the immortal path may stretch far, my own path is no longer lonely!" Cultivator Duke had probably been transmigrated for so long that he no longer knew how to speak normally.

Still, after delivering that string of half-baked Classical Chinese, his aura of grandeur shot straight upward.

"Cultivation…" The Dukes drooled with envy. Humanity’s desire for longevity would never fade. As long as they were intelligent lifeforms, none would fail to desire immortality. Duke was no exception; his dream had always been eternal life.

The third Duke also looked over enviously. This guy had transmigrated into A Certain Magical Index World and worked at the AIM Analysis Institute, a subordinate institution of Academy City. He was neither an Esper nor a magician, just an ordinary researcher too weak to truss a chicken.

When he had first transmigrated into A Certain Magical Index World, he had refused to accept it. At over twenty years old, he had already missed the best time for either developing superpowers or learning magic. His life template had solidified: an upgraded version of a salted-fish cannon-fodder passerby, a bit player with lines.

Caught in the vortex without any ability to protect himself, he had worried himself sick. The key was that his status was too awkward. His research ability was neither outstanding nor poor, and his position was neither high nor low. He could not even leave Academy City if he wanted to.

Thanks to readers Ran Zhuoxin, Dark-Eyed One Is a Noob, A Real Man Whose Fists Hit Flesh, Ninth-Generation Chinese Dictionary, Dapeng Vegetables, and Collecting 16 to 25 Year Old Beautiful Girls for their tips!