Watching the Show

"Hmm?"

Thor, who was handling official business in his study, suddenly sensed his hammer vibrating. He could not help rolling his eyes. His beloved hammer was about to "cheat" on him again.

"Forget it. It’s not the first time, anyway."

Though annoyed, Thor did not take it too seriously. He was used to it by now. At that moment, the hammer flew up and opened a portal in midair, flying through it.

Thor glanced over casually, then froze—on the other side was not his adorable little sister, but a huge greasy man with a face full of beard.

"Mjolnir."

Thor instantly flew into a rage. It was bad enough that it had cheated on him with his sister, but what did it mean to cheat on him with a fat man? Was he really worse than some fat bastard?

There was nothing more to say. Thor immediately turned into a streak of lightning and flew into the portal. Then he grabbed Thor’s Hammer and sent Fat Thor flying with a single blow just as the latter was thrilled to see the hammer appear.

Bang! Fat Thor crashed heavily to the ground. He climbed up, shook his head, and asked unhappily, "Why did you hit me?"

Holding the hammer, Thor demanded angrily, "Who the hell are you? How dare you seduce my Mjolnir?"

"What do you mean, yours? That’s my Mjolnir!"

Fat Thor was equally displeased. He had been in the middle of confessing his feelings, so why had this guy come to ruin everything? What was going to happen to his image now?

"Yours? Hmph. Take a look at yourself. Your beard is a mess, you’re greasy all over, and your belly is bigger than Odin’s. If I were you, I’d never leave the house and embarrass myself."

The more Thor cursed, the angrier he became. He hated this fat bastard for stealing his hammer, and he hated Mjolnir for cheating with just anyone—an oily fat bastard like this. If word got out, people would laugh him to death. Fat Thor was speechless. His past self could really curse. He snorted. "Embarrass yourself? You’re the one embarrassing yourself. Your girlfriend dumped you, and you’re a lonely single dog. Let me tell you, I have a girlfriend, and she’s incredibly beautiful."

Thor felt as if he had been struck by lightning. Clenching his teeth, he asked, "Someone like you has a girlfriend?"

Loki, who had remained silent all this time, spoke up. "Yes. I’m his girlfriend."

"Loki? You’re his girlfriend?"

Only then did Thor notice Loki. He was stunned at first, then exploded in fury. Lightning swelled wildly around his body as he roared, "You seduced not only my hammer, but also my brother—no, my sister? You bastard, I’m going to smash you to death."

"Brother? Loki?"

Fat Thor was dumbfounded. Pointing at Loki with a trembling finger, he asked, "He’s Loki?"

"Bastard, you don’t even know his name?"

Thor went berserk, shooting into the sky and bringing down countless bolts of lightning on Fat Thor.

Fat Thor dodged clumsily while shouting, "That’s impossible! Loki is a man. She’s a woman."

Thor launched a frenzied assault, forcing Fat Thor back step by step as he roared, "He used to be a man, and now she’s a woman. What’s the problem? Are you discriminating against her? You bastard."

Fat Thor felt utterly miserable. His brother had turned into his sister, and even more absurdly, he had…

Fat Thor instantly broke down. He even gave up resisting, allowing Thor to smash him heavily with the hammer and send him flying like a cannonball.

Thor’s hatred had yet to fade. He chased after Fat Thor and gave him a merciless beating. Fat Thor still did not resist. He felt he would be better off dead.

He simply could not accept everything that had happened.

"Hahaha!"

Loki laughed heartily like a man. Her long preparations had not been in vain. Whether it was Thor’s fury or Fat Thor’s expression, it had all been worth it.

Loki said, "Thor, that fat man is actually you."

"He’s me? That’s impossible. How could I possibly get that fat?"

Thor turned back and roared, "Besides, how could I lay hands on my own sister? I’m not a scumbag."

"Perhaps. Scumbag Thor, farewell, my two brothers."

Loki smiled, used the Reality Stone to make a wish, opened a portal, and left. There was still plenty of fun to be had with this prank.

"Loki, don’t go! Explain this clearly!"

Seeing Loki leave, Thor hurriedly shouted, but Loki naturally ignored him. The portal closed at once. Thor was completely baffled, but then he shook his head and continued beating Fat Thor. This bastard had stolen his hammer and made moves on his sister. Beating him could not possibly be wrong.

"Hahaha!"

On Earth, Wang Bert and Hela were both laughing loudly, while Odin’s face was as black as the bottom of a pot.

Wang Bert laughed. "Odin, don’t be so angry. This is a good thing, a very good thing."

"Good my ass."

Odin cursed, then sighed repeatedly. "What a disgrace to the family. What a disgrace to the family."

"It’s not a disgrace. You watched Avengers: Endgame too. In the end, Thor will give up the throne and choose to wander."

Wang Bert said, "In other words, your Odinson family will completely lose Asgard. If you do not want that to happen, you must make Thor marry Loki.

"With Loki’s methods, she definitely will not hand the throne over to Valkyrie. She will take control of Asgard herself. She can handle even the Frost Kingdom, let alone a fallen Asgard.

"Better still, Loki can take over the Frost Kingdom. At that time, Asgard will no longer need to live as guests on Earth. You can instead become the masters of the Frost Kingdom.

"Also, Loki’s wealth in this world can be transferred to the other world and become capital for Asgard’s resurgence."

"What you said… actually makes damn sense."

Odin had wanted to curse loudly, but after thinking it over, he realized this really was not a bad plan.

"Of course it makes sense. The people in that world do not know that Loki is Loki, so they will not oppose this marriage."

Wang Bert said, "Your son found a good wife, and your daughter found a good husband. Odin, you can die in peace now."

"That is true… Get lost. You’re the one who should die."

Odin cursed, rubbing his chin as he said, "Since the two of them have already done that, they might as well really do it. Thor also needs a woman to help him pull himself together."

"That’s right. Exactly."

Wang Bert laughed heartily. This was simply too amusing. If Thor learned the truth, it would surely be even more amusing.

"What a disgrace to the family."

Hela said in a deliberately solemn tone. Odin snorted, feeling as if he had somehow been tricked.

On an unknown planet, Thor was tired from beating him and sat on the ground. He shouted, "Who exactly are you? I’m warning you, stay away from my sister from now on, or I’ll beat you every time I see you."

With his face swollen like a pig’s head, Fat Thor said lifelessly, "I’m Thor Odinson, a useless loser, a beast who laid hands on his own sister. I’d be better off dead."

"You still dare impersonate me?"

Thor flew into a rage. At that moment, Thor’s Hammer opened a portal. Then a massive spatial hand grabbed Thor and Fat Thor, bringing both of them, along with the hammer, back to Earth.

The one who acted was naturally Wang Bert. It was worth mentioning that Odin was not present—if Thor learned that he was fine, he would definitely throw Asgard back at him. Odin knew Thor’s character all too well.

"Thor, how did you run into Future Thor?"

Pretending to know nothing, Wang Bert asked, "And Future Thor, what exactly happened to you? Why did you suddenly disappear from Earth?"

Thor looked confused. "Future Thor? What Future Thor?"

Wang Bert smiled. "I hadn’t told you yet. He’s you from the future. He just put on a bit of weight. Nothing to be done about that—middle-aged spread."

Thor was horrified and hurriedly shouted, "Bert, you’re joking, right? How could he be me? How could I turn into such a fat bastard?"

"It’s true. It’s a long story. I’ll give you the Avengers: Endgame movie later, and you can watch it yourself."

Wang Bert said, "Future Thor, tell us about your situation first."

Fat Thor asked nervously, "My situation? What situation?"

Wang Bert said, "The matter of you suddenly vanishing from Earth. Uh, what happened to your face? Who beat you up?"

"I don’t know what happened. I suddenly arrived in the Frost… I suddenly arrived in outer space."

Fat Thor said, "Later, I summoned Thor’s Hammer. Thor thought I was trying to steal it, so we started fighting."

Thor glared at Fat Thor. This guy was actually hiding the truth. Fat Thor looked at Thor pleadingly. The matter with Loki absolutely could not be mentioned. If it came out, he would have no face left to live in this world.

Thor clenched his teeth but did not mention Loki. If that fat bastard really was his future self, then this matter… Damn it, Thor wanted to die now. Of course, before dying, he would definitely beat Fat Thor to death first.

"Is that so?"

Wang Bert set up a Magic Array on Fat Thor and said, "For the time being, stay at the New York Sanctum. Don’t run around. The Behind-the-Scenes Manipulator may strike at you again."

"Okay, I promise I won’t leave. Absolutely not."

Fat Thor nodded repeatedly. He had caused such a huge disaster after going out only once. How could he dare go out again? If Odin found out about this, he would beat him to death—a particularly brutal death.

"Good. You can slowly explain the future time-space situation to Thor."

With a wave of Wang Bert’s hand, Fat Thor and Thor were both teleported to the New York Sanctum. Vaguely, they seemed to hear Wang Bert saying, "What a disgrace to the family!"

At the New York Sanctum, after Thor finished watching the Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame compilation, he grabbed Fat Thor by the collar like an enraged bull and roared, "How could you be so useless? You couldn’t even protect the people of Asgard? And how could you lay hands on Loki? She’s your sister!"

"I really am a loser, and a scumbag loser at that. I don’t deserve to live in this world at all."

Fat Thor smashed his own head hard with his fists and cursed loudly. Seeing this, Thor sat helplessly on the ground and tugged at his hair in frustration.

A mass-murdering sister, Asgard destroyed, its people slaughtered by Thanos, and his future self sleeping with Loki… Honestly, Thor felt completely awful. He wanted to smash his head against a wall until he passed out.

Bang! Thor punched the ground hard, smashing a large crater into it. Then he gritted his teeth and said, "I will never let Hela and Thanos destroy Asgard. I will protect Asgard."

Fat Thor said dejectedly, "You don’t have that strength. You may be stronger than I was back then, but compared to Hela—uh, compared to Thanos—you’re still far too weak."

"Thanos is indeed powerful, but so what? Does that mean we do nothing?"

Thor shouted. He was deeply displeased with his future self. Not only had his body failed, but so had his heart. How could such trash possibly be his future? "Being young is nice."

Looking at Thor, Fat Thor gave a bitter smile. The current Thor had not yet been crushed by reality and was still full of fighting spirit.

"Shut up. Our world has the Blood God. It won’t be like your lousy world."

Thinking of something, Thor grabbed Fat Thor and asked, "What are you planning to do about Loki?"

Just bringing it up made Thor want to lose his mind. He was furious both that his future self had slept with Loki and that his precious little sister had been violated by a pig.

In Thor’s mind, Future Thor was a pig.

Fat Thor was just as frantic. "How am I supposed to know what to do? I had no idea she was Loki at first. Loki was obviously doing it on purpose."

"What, are you trying to shirk responsibility?"

Thor roared, "I’m telling you, you have to take responsibility. Marry Loki and let her help you rebuild Asgard."

Fat Thor hesitated. "I marry Loki? Isn’t that wrong? She’s my brother—uh, sister."

"If you dare not marry her, I’ll kill you."

Thor said through clenched teeth, "Get up and fight me properly. I need to know the gap between me and Hela and Thanos. Also, you are not allowed to bully Loki in the future, or I’ll definitely beat you up."

"Isn’t this really wrong?"

Fat Thor said. He simply could not get over this hurdle.

"Wrong my ass. You bastard, are you trying to avoid responsibility after having your fun?"

Thor punched Fat Thor hard, sending him flying. Then he raised his hammer and charged at Fat Thor. Fat Thor was furious, picked up Stormbreaker, and began fighting Thor.

Meanwhile, the mastermind behind all this—the God of Mischief Loki—was reporting the intelligence she had gathered to Thanos.

"Vermin. A bunch of vermin. Not only do they know nothing of gratitude, they even want to turn things around."

Thanos flew into a rage and even kicked apart his favorite chair.

"Master, please allow us to wipe out those damned Earthlings for you."

The surviving members of the Black Order—Corvus Glaive, Proxima Midnight, and Cull Obsidian—knelt down together and shouted.

"You are no match for the Blood God. I need to plan this carefully. I will never allow them to destroy my efforts."

Thanos paced back and forth. After a moment, he stared into the empty void and said, "You’re here. Why did I die in that time-space?"

Seeing Thanos acting up again, everyone lowered their heads. Only Loki watched Thanos curiously.

"In that time-space, you and I never met."

The Goddess of Death said, "This proves that even without me, you would still uphold the Universe Balance. This is your destiny."

Thanos said proudly, "I am destiny."

"That’s right. You are destiny."

The Goddess of Death was delighted. She said, "Destiny does not permit resistance. Thanos, destroy all those insects."

"I will destroy them all."

Thanos said, "But not now. Do you have a way to send me to Future Time-Space? I want to destroy them there and seize the Six Infinity Stones.

"The Blood God will not leave Earth, and no one else can stop me. At that time, not only will I crush those vermin, I will also obtain the Infinity Stones and fulfill my destiny."